Love and War: Finding the Marriage You've Dreamed Of by Eldredge John & Eldredge Stasi

Author:Eldredge, John & Eldredge, Stasi [Eldredge, John]
Language: eng
Format: mobi
Publisher: Doubleday Religion
Published: 2009-12-08T16:00:00+00:00

What Are Your Lives About?

Most of us have not really thought of our marriage as having a mission, apart from raising children perhaps, or “making a good home.” And the home is vital; the home is home base, the staging point for our forays into the world. Of course, you want your home to be filled with life and joy. May it ever be. And raising children, should God grant you the trial, is about as noble an undertaking as can be named. The “hand that rocks the cradle” rules the world and all that. Making a home and raising children can provide a rich sense of shared mission, provided that you are both throwing yourselves into the task.

But sooner than you think the children will be gone—hopefully off on their own missions—and the two of you will be staring at each other like owls wakened at noon, blinking, wondering, What do we do now? and Who are you? If “happy little home” was the extent of the mission, once the kids have flown the coop the sense of shared adventure evaporates. This is why empty nesters have a higher divorce rate. The children were veiling a chasm—the husband and wife were not really one. Now the kids are gone and they have nothing left in common. As one friend recently confessed, “I had no idea how much the busy-ness of the kids was giving us a sense of togetherness. The soccer games, the plays. But once they were gone, I thought to myself, ‘Who is this woman?’”

Besides, you do not want your children growing up believing that they are the center of the universe. The balancing act we parents attempt is convincing our children:

You are loved more than you can imagine.

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